我把所有的记忆串成一部电影过年发的幽默句子，于是一部悲剧诞生了。

I strung them together into a movie, and a tragedy was born.

要不是老师说不能乱丢垃圾，我早就把你丢出去了。

If the teacher hadn't said no littering, I would have thrown you out.

请关心一下身边的智障儿童，不然你就进精神病院了。

Please take care of the mentally handicapped children around you, or you will be put in a mental hospital.

胖胖的女孩不要担心，婚纱可是可以调大小的。

Don't worry, chubby girls. Wedding dresses can be resized.

请关心一下身边的吃货，一不小心就撑死了。

Please take care of the foodies around you.

漂亮这种东西，三分靠天定，七分靠滤镜。

Beauty is a matter of three parts by nature and seven parts by filters.

鬼是很害怕死亡的，因为它长大了就成人了。

Ghosts are afraid of death, because when they grow up, they become men.

对于对象我看重是是才华，其它的不重要，帅就行了。

For the object I value is talent, other is not important, handsome on the line.

你喜欢看书吗？叔也喜欢看你过年发的幽默句子！

Do you like reading? Uncle likes to look at you too!

收银员说过年发的幽默句子：没零钱了，找你塑料袋吧过年发的幽默句子！

Cashier: No change, please change your plastic bag!

你说走就走，从不考虑我的感受，果然是养不熟的狗过年发的幽默句子！

You walk away without considering my feelings. You are really a dog you don't know well!

好马不吃回头草，因为在回去的路上，它已经饿死了！

A good horse does not eat back grass, because on the way back, it has starved to death!

刚刚下雨了，一辆豪车从我身边经过，溅得我一身水，当时我就发誓，等我有钱了，我一定买一套雨衣，亮瞎你的眼！

It was raining just now, and a limousine passed me and splashed me with water, and I swore that when I got rich, I would buy a raincoat to dazzle you!

（素材与图源于网络，侵权联删）